Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Mondo Burger by Jason "Meat Patties" Silver

Jason "Meat Patties" Silver, a proud Monmouth University alumi, loses his Lunch O'Clock virginity with his story about his battle with the Mondo Burger.  10 patties, 10 pieces of cheese, and 2 buns.  I think I will use this as a bed time story to read to my kids....

"There it sat in its beauty, the Mount Everest of burger nation. A 2.5 lb monstrosity: Cluttered with 10 beef patties, 10 slices of American cheese, pickles, and just the right amount of ketchup. As Goliath stared me in the eyes, I tried to devise a way to effectively attack the beast. After pondering momentarily, I figured the only way to take down the monster was to start from the top and work my way down. I pushed the 10 patties down, and dug right in. Within one minute I had taken a good chunk out of the monster. Within three minutes it appeared as half the burger had vanished, and I sensed its vulnerability. At this point I took a deep breath and continued my full fledged attack. Two minutes later I was on my final bites. The onlookers, Joey “Serious Meat “Scalo included, watched in both amazement and bewilderment. As I took that final bite down and the clock stopped in less than six minutes a series of emotions started to rush through my system.. The first one being of utter disgust. I just annihilated a 10 patty burger in mere minutes. But after thinking for a second, that disgust was replaced with jubilation. I thought, 10 patties 2 buns, “That’s pretty manly”. The second emotion being of accomplishment. I was challenged to tame a beast of monstrous proportions and did so both willingly and successfully. The third and final emotion was of satisfaction of my entrance into the lunchoclock blog. I thought to myself what better way to introduce Jason “Meat Patties” Silver into the forum than man-handling a mondo burger. It is an honor and privilege to be posted on such a prolific blog. Until next time ladies and gentlemen. -  Meat Patties, out."

The Mondo Burger

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